FFS Goldfrapp.

Oh, Goldfrapp. I'm giving up on you. Felt Mountain was astonishing. Black Cherry was forgettable, and Supernature was an electropop cleftbaby that upset me a great deal. So, y'know, when I heard A&E, I thought, "ooh, how lovely" and got a bit excited for Seventh Tree.



Sadly, Seventh Tree is brain-pulpingly tedious. There's no substance here; just wispy, whimsical laptop folk-pop that mistakes production for songwriting. I absolutely cannot recall a single melody or phrase from anything on it other than A&E, which was nice enough as a single, but here becomes swallowed by the bland monotony of the rest of the record.

Any time I saw Alison Goldfrapp doing publicity for Supernature, she seemed thoroughly bored, her gaze fixed and her mouth doing an impression of a bumhole packed with wasps. Seventh Tree is the product of that waspy-bumface. Go home, now, Goldfrapp. Do not darken our doors again.